Tiger and Lurch - separated at birth

See http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

After DST

See http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

Enough!!!

See http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

Response to Ides

See http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

More from Kelly

Ides of March is now officially commenting at the new and improved blog. See my latest response to her.
http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

New posting - August 25

See http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

Special Request - from Kelly

Kelly is still lurking about. She has a special request - See comment #5 July 17.

I have no clue what difference it makes, but here they are - the first page of the letter and the entire second page. Must mean something to Kelly. Maybe she just wanted proof that they were written to me from Paul.

There are a couple of sentences I marked out - they had to do with our customers and confidential problems they had with their equipment. Which also explains the text message he received from me when he landed - work related.

I believe that Pony Up is 110% correct.

New posting........

http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

A Win-Win

OK - so after reading the positively pathetic comments by Kelly actually trying to defend what Paul says, I have decided to shut this blog down. You win Kelly!!! Congrats. Now go away and take care of things that should be important in your life.

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What annoys me the most about the whole situation is that I used to stick up for Kelly when Paul put her down!! And this is the thanks I get. Of course, I do realize that Paul has filled her head with lies.

Here is a simple example: Paul complained that Kelly does needlepoint or cross stitch (he claimed he had no clue what it was called) and Kelly actually had the nerve to try to talk to him about that boring stuff. Paul told me he HATES that crap. Well, I certainly was taken aback. While some of my hobbies include 'manly' things like welding, furniture refinishing, and working on my truck engine, what Paul did not realize is that I too, do 'girley' stuff. I enjoy cooking (Paul claimed that Kelly totally sucks at cooking - and very rarely bothers at all - he said he does 99% of the cooking - and laundry too!!! - and he is pissed because he works and she doesn't), quilting, crocheting, knitting (European method) and needlepoint when I find the time. I told him that it was pretty shitty of him not to be supportive of his wife's hobbies just because he doesn't like them. He quickly dropped the subject. Although quilting came up about a year later.......

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Since I do not like to lose - I have come up with the perfect Win-Win situation!!!

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http://thesecretlifeoflurch.blogspot.com/

The Secret Life of Lurch

Lurch (about 30 years ago):

For those of you following the blog about Paul, I am sure you will find the new one just as informative and entertaining as this one. In fact, I am positive. Granted, it is completely made up, but might in fact have characters and situations that are quite similar actual real life situations. But any similarity is purely coincidental.

Bertha (also taken about 30 years ago - she has much shorter hair now - but still has the mustache!!):

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This is the story of Lurch and Bertha and how Lurch cheats on Bertha - just like so many men do in real life!!! And it contains helpful information on how to spot those scum bags who cheat. So update your links and here we go....

If it does not work, email me at viewfrom32@yahoo.com and I will send you the link - and, yeah, there is a certain irony in using that account!!! :-)

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I will leave this up for awhile so that my readers can find the new blog.

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And Kelly - if you do show up at the fictional blog, please remember to be polite, respect others, and use logic. Your questions might be answered - accusations or rudeness or incoherent rantings will either be ignored or deleted. Although all of your correspondence to me has been 'ugly,' you would be surprised to find that I am a nice, fair and reasonable (albeit, snarky) person - why else do you think Paul chased after me for so long????

She's baaaaaaaaaack!!!

(See comments on last post)

'The letters you wrote my husband are beyond hateful"

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REALLY?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did he show you the ones he wrote telling me how much he loves me and wants to be with me? The ones where he is unhappy and stuck in a rut? I thought not....

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Text message from Paul: "Well, darn- I called and thought u were asleep, so I plugged the phone in & went 2 trim Dallas. I sure do miss u. Will b so glad when this is past & we can c (sic) what life has in store 4 us. U r wonderful...

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And I bet he only showed you the ones that would make you angry at me. A smart move on his part - he deflected all your anger in my direction so you would ignore what he has done. He played you rather easily.

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I do not understand why Kelly is showing up here posting - that is just asking to be the focus of the blog. If the blog is causing 'intense pain' one does not read it, much less post to it! And it is messing up the blog - I simply wanted to write a blog about the tactics married men use to cheat on their wives using a real life situation. I surely did not want to get into a pissing contest with the gullible wife. I never said I was perfect and that I did not make mistakes. That does not change the lies and tactics Paul used.

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So, let's have a little background here. The type of background that I am sure Paul would not provide. The letters (actually, snarky stories) started as one of my final efforts to get Paul to let leave me alone. I was walking on a tightrope because Paul was in a 'position of authority' at work and I seriously felt like my job was in jeopardy if I did not handle it right. As I had been nice to him, Paul no doubt would have done EXACTLY what he is doing now - putting the blame on me (per the letter from the lawyer - Paul claims that I am angry because HE REJECTED ME!!!! Holy Shit Batman!!!!!!) I have never in my life pursued a man, much less a married one. And I sure as heck don't want anyone's sloppy seconds - or thirds - or fourths........

I thought I had finally gotten him to back off and quit telling me he was leaving Kelly (i.e. - he would agree to leave me alone by a certain date and after that date, he would disappear and quit contacting me) Well, it did not work. That certain date? Well, by that date Kelly was going to be out of the house and moved in with her mother. Of course it did not happen. (And yes, I have a whole series of emails on that. My blog is getting totally messed up - I had planned on following this whole saga in a chronological order)

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So when that date came Paul of course told me the whole sob story of how things were not working out and how now he was hoping for a MIRACLE!!! Yes, that's right folks, now he was hoping for a miracle so that he could be with me. The miracle, of course, was that Kelly would be somehow magically be gone and he could be with me.

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Miracle: An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God

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You have no idea how I gagged when I heard that. I have never heard a more spineless thing in my life. Let me go back to my original postings -

What he really means: I ain't doing jack shit, but I'm still pulling stuff out of my ass because I want a piece of yours.

If he really meant it he would have said: I have an appointment with my divorce lawyer. No miracles needed.

So, what about those letters. I wrote a WHOLE SERIES of letters to get him to leave me alone. Letters about how lousy of a person he was, how rotten of a person I was, how crappy of a horse trainer he was, how awful he was at his job - you name it - I wrote it. Paul had told me early on how he did not like himself/his decisons/his skills critisized. So I thought that if I wrote stuff knocking down everything about him he would leave me alone. It did not work. He said that he knew I did not mean any of it and he would ALWAYS love me.
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Let's look at the fact that Paul gave Kelly that letter. What kind of man does that? Most normal women want the type of man that would do whatever it took to protect them from any kind of hurt. That is what a real man does. Instead, he INTENTIONALLY gave her a letter (written to him for the purpose of getting him to leave me alone) to hurt her to protect HIMSELF.

Let me make this perfectly clear - PAUL GAVE KELLY THAT LETTER FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF HURTING HER TO GET HER TO DIRECT HER ANGER AT ME AND NOT AT HIM.

I wrote the letters/stories to get him to leave me alone. The letters were not meant for Kelly - Paul made the choice to hurt Kelly by showing them to her. What a man.
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I LOVE my readers - you guys are spot on........... (well, except for one of you)

You can't make this stuff up!!

Got a letter a few weeks ago from 'the lawyer .' Paul and Kelly will be filing a lawsuit against me for the 'intense pain' the blog is causing them if I didn't delete it completely and within 24 hours of receipt of the letter. Specifically, they are claiming IIED - 'Intentional infliction of emotional distress' .

Seriously.

I am not making this up.


So, I have been putting together my case the past couple of weeks.

Ironically, I am taking some advice Paul gave me awhile ago regarding someone bad from my childhood: "Don't let him win."

For some unknown reason Paul has singled me out and decided to try to mess up my life - first with the affair crap and now with this. And to think I was actually nice to the guy!!! Sometimes you just have to take a stand and say I've had enough.

House hunting in the RAIN???

I got home today and it was pouring rain. As I was driving down my road, I noticed something strange. The car in the photo above (YGF-XXXX) was stopped in front of my house and as I pulled around them to get in my driveway, I saw that the guy in the driver's seat was taking pictures of my house. The woman that was with him (with very noticeable 'buck teeth') gave me the dirtiest look. Do I know them? Not at all. Is my house for sale? Absolutely not. The two houses down the street are for sale (and have been for 2 years), but they were taking pictures of MY house. As I live on a dead end road, they had to continue up the road and turn around to get out of my subdivision.
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So I took pictures of them as they left. They did not take pics of any other house and did not even slow up a little when they went by the houses that were for sale, so I do not think they were househunting.

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Why would someone take pics of my house in the pouring rain and give me a dirty look? Am I being paranoid? I do not trust Paul or Kelly AT ALL. Especially after Kelly threatened me with her lawyer and Paul told me on several occasions that he thinks that the law only applies to 'stupid' people. What do you guys think?

The Chase is on!!

OK - so this great guy at work tells me he loves me and wants to date me even though he is married (but he is getting a divorce - any day now), so I have to do whatever it takes to be near him. I work at facility 'B' and he works at facility 'A' and even though his trips to facility B have increased exponentially so he can visit me, I just know that I have to do something!!! What should I do? I know - I will update my resume and try for any and every job at Paul's facility so I can be near my honeybunch!!! I will make lots of phone calls and call in some favors. There are so many women he works with that I need to defend my claim on him and eliminate the competition. He is such a prize - I cannot lose him!
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Ooops - that is Paul's fantasy - now for a dose of reality!
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Yes, I did update my resume. And I did call everyone I knew to get a new job. However, I was looking for a job at facility 'C' and only C - Paul had no reason (other than one or two times a year) to go there. I even sent my resume to lots of outside companies. Anything to not have to work with him. It took a couple of months to get the new job and finally move. While I had to split my time 50/50 between the old and new job during my transition period, at least I was at a different facility. That new facility, by the way, takes longer to get to and is not nearly as nice as the one I left. I would have rather stayed at facility B, but C is MUCH nicer because Paul is not there!!! The interesting part about this whole thing is that I actually told Paul I was taking the new job to get away from him - he had the nerve to tell me that he was still dumping Kelly and was going to prove me wrong because he loved me and wanted to be with me because I was perfect for him. It was just taking longer than he expected to get rid of Kelly. Yeah - right.

Up next: so what does Paul do about my move???
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Full disclosure - I was seriously considering looking for a new job (at any of the 3 facilities) because my boss - who was not supposed to be my boss when I took the job - was very 'inexperienced' and made some REALLY bad decisions (and still does). However, I was going to wait another year before I started looking..........................

To my readers - thanks :-)

Comments are messed up!

Not sure what is happening, but the comments are seriously messed up! They are either missing, not posted, I am unable to post them, they have the wrong dates, or in some cases, the dates in the 'comment moderation' section keep changing! My apologies if I made an error .............................. I hope Google/Blogger is working on it :-)

The end ..... of Kelly

Kelly - please do not contact me again. I do not wish to meet you at the library or anywhere at anytime EVER. Based on your threat and your input to the blog, you have obviously made up your mind that everything Paul tells you is the truth and nothing I would say would make a difference. So stop - NOW. Nothing good could come of it.
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It appears that your goal of communicating with the people who had input to the blog was for them to stop posting, you succeeded; however, if your goal was for me to stop blogging, you failed miserably. (BTW - the number of hits to this blog has NOT declined.) I will not stop just because you threatened me. Apparently Paul did not inform you that I don't take kindly to threats. Especially when I am right and know I did NOTHING wrong.
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You know absolutely nothing about me except for what Paul has told you (think about that for a few minutes) - and in your desperation to justify your actions, you seem to have swallowed his crap hook, line, and sinker.
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It is quite sad that you are the one attempting to contact me when Paul is the one who is totally and completely responsible. Any man of character would admit his mistake and not let you go through the anguish of contacting the person he tried to have an affair with - how humiliating for you!!! But that is Paul - nothing is his fault and he is the victim of everything. No doubt his ego is being boosted as you vainly attempt to silence me. And he is the one responsible!!!!!! A real man would not do that. But then again, a real man would not have lied to try to have an affair with me.
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There is very little that you can say that will stop me. Threats are the stupidest thing you can try. Women need to know how low a man will go to try to get sex with them and use them. They need to be armed with the right questions and know what actions to look for (words can be such pretty things, but mean NOTHING if they are not followed up with concrete actions).
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If just ONE person reading this blog learns how to identify horrible users like Paul in the world and avoids it, I will have been successful.

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My next couple of postings will be to those of you who emailed me and wanted to know if I encouraged Paul in any way to cheat on his wife. You will be surprised. It is fine with me if you continue to email me instead of posting directly to the blog.

Got one!!

Thanks to the person who emailed the comment that was deleted directly from the blog (the one at 4:57 am). It turns out it was from our friend, Ides of March, and Kelly - please feel free to tell the nice folks out there if I messed up the posting.

-the ides of March is simply the 15th day of March . No more, no less. From reading your comment on that I really do see that you can only see the negative side of anything from your eyes. You are full of bitterness and hate. I am sorry that you see yourself as a vicitim.
I am praying for you.
Beware the Ides of March is from the play of Julius Caesar - my comment was not negative - just a neutral observation. This reference to 'backstabbing' is well known in literature. Paul did tell me that you do not read books, so your lack of knowledge about this is understandable.
Where do I say I was a victim? Do you really think that 'snarky commentary' is bitterness and hate?

....and for your education of others on how to avoid a married man persuing (sic) you (since this is the point of of your now edited blog)
The point of this blog (which has NEVER changed): "I had never encountered a married man who cheated before and was fascinated by the audacity of the lies he told to try to get me to have an affair with him. This blog will cover some of his bullshit. And will serve as a warning to others - what signs to look for and see if they are really serious or are just playing games." Not the same as how to avoid a married man pursuing you. You missed the point completely.

1. Do not participate. Period. Do not email. do not text. do not 'consider dating' them after they are divorced. Be strong enough to NOT engage. All marriages have problem times.
Conflicts with MY stated purpose of the blog, but works well with your version of it. Paul did not say your marriage had problems - he said it was completely and irreversibly dead - and had been for years. He said there was no hope of ever it working out ever and the only thing left to do was the paperwork.

2. Do not divorce your husband to be with someone else's and then be bitter
Strange comment, but excellent advice. I certainly agree.

3. Do not 'blog' publicly with your 'on-line diary' which just points the finger at the other person when you had a choice to not be involved. You admit to being 'curoius' about how far it would go, and then where (sic) hurt when it stopped? WTF? Talk to a girlfriend. Airing dirty laundry is nothing but hurtful. Yes-note the time of my comment (like my text)....this has me not sleeping.
WTF? is right!!!!! But to follow your theme - How does not blogging publicly stop a married man from pursuing you? Does this mean that only women who blog will have a pig chasing them? I did not blog before Paul chased me so using your logic he should not have chased me. What about before the internet existed - why did men pursue then??? So many questions.... BTW - Paul aired your dirty laundry, not me.

I find it interesting that once I did contact you about this blog that you edited it. Changing Paul Linn to Paul L. and removing your photos about your endurance ride?
???I cannot change the name of the blog. Yes, I removed two posts (only one photo) - they were not part of the blog - they were only there to let the people following the blog know that I was gone for awhile - they had served their purpose. What nefarious reason do you assign to me for removing them? and BTW - I have edited it before too!!!!! And I'll edit it again if I want to. Never to change the content - just to clarify something better.

I am sorry that you find so much pleasure hurting others.
Exactly where did I say that I found pleasure in hurting others?

Oh! and the comment about my mother? Not nice.
Wait till you hear what Paul had to say about your mother - THAT'S really not nice. I was just commenting on what he said. And I agree totally - it was awful!! And I do mean AWFUL.

Again, you are in my prayers.
People who say that 'you are in my prayers' think that they are morally superior and are quite condescending. So quit it. Pray for yourself instead. You need help way more than I do.

Damn - lost the comments - and another lie!

Apparently there were about a dozen comments in the "comment moderation' section. Several from Kelly. A really sincere one from Amity (if you are still reading this Amity, thanks for your input, I appreciate your explanation.) I hit publish and expected them to appear in the blog - they did not. In fact, one existing comment got deleted! Anyone know how to retrieve a 'published' comment? And, yes, it did say the comment(s) was published - I did not hit delete. And why do some comments go straight to the blog and others sit in the comment moderation section? I have the box checked that all comments are posted immediately.


One of the ones I tried to post actually proved once again how Kelly lies.


It was addressed from Kelly to Mack and had something along the lines of 'she wouldn't even look me in the eye and just slunk away'.....and something about 'telling her that I was writing about her on the internet'........referring to a horse tack sale I went to where Kelly was also.


Well, this is what had Kelly texted me (right after the 'Learn more' text):



So which one is it Kelly - did I refuse to look at you or did I look you straight in the face? You can't have it both ways.

Mac - if you have Kelly's comment, I sure would appreciate you recreating it - thanks. I want to make sure my facts are straight.

So here is the situation - I went with a friend to a tack sale in March and Kelly was there. Awkward situation. What the hell did Kelly expect me to do - walk up to her and make a scene? The friend I was with went up to Kelly and talked to her - I did not. It seemed like the most prudent thing for me to do at the time. I neither slunked by nor looked her straight in the face. I glanced over at her, continued to look at the sale items and left with my friend - that is MY recollection of the event.

Does ANYBODY think it would have been appropriate for me to have approached Kelly at the tack sale?
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BTW - As my friend and I were leaving the tack sale, Kelly trotted out of the building looking for me - she ran right to the truck as we were pulling away. Based on her comments it seems like Kelly wanted to make a scene.
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Not the right place to ask questions, tho.
Damn right it was not the place for questions!!!!! If Kelly had truly wanted to talk to me she would have picked up the phone and called me months ago. Period.

Lies straight out of the gate!!!

To those of you who think this is somewhat harsh I apologize - I get pissed (and sarcastic) when someone threatens me with a lawsuit when I did nothing wrong... (not that I have had the 'pleasure' of that experience before)

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Total loss of credibility from the start!!!!!

Please read comment from Kelly/ 'Ides of March' on last post and my comment - then this will make sense .........................................

Kelly's first sentence in the comment section:

What I wanted to discuss with you was the removal of this blog.
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This is what Kelly texted to me last month in response to "For what purpose?" (She had said 'Interesting blog. Meet to discuss?')

She starts out with the snotty "The obvious" - as if I can read her mind and know her motives. She then goes on to say "Learn more." But in her comment on the June 6 blog she says she wanted to discuss removing the blog.

Note to Kelly - if you want to have any credibility at all - DO NOT START WITH AN OBVIOUS PROVABLE LIE!!!!! People have a really hard time believing ANYTHING you say or being sympathetic to your cause if you lie to them. 'Learn more' does NOT mean 'removal of this blog' - it means the opposite. You wanted more information. And I provided it. If anyone else thinks that 'learn more' means 'remove blog' - please enlighten me.

It is beyond decency. I TOTALLY agree. What your husband did is beyond decency. How nice that we can find some common ground.
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I am absolutely SICK over the content and tone of this blog. Me too! Another point we have in common. What your husband did is absolutely disgusting. And I have barely scratched the surface of what he did!
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Who finds joy in posting things like this? Who is finding joy?
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Your blog is set to strike out at others, not to educate as you claim. Don't tell me what my blog is set to do. Apparently you have not read the entire blog and its comments. Just ask Annaliisa. She is finding it helpful - as do others. There are plenty of assholes like Paul out there - I think it is helpful to know what to look for and what to do.
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Why not write in a diary? Good idea (yet another thing we agree on - damn - we could be best friends at this rate!) - this is like an online diary of sorts - with an educational bent.
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Why post this publicly? To educate - read the beginning of the blog - it is clearly spelled out.
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This whole thing is filled with partial information to hurt and show spite. Wow - and how did you come to that brilliant conclusion? From Paul? The liar? The one who has something to lose - like his house? A POA every night? Oh please. Your husband has EVERY REASON to lie. What reason do I have? I never planned on you or Paul reading it, so why would I lie? If I had wanted to show hurt/spite I would have posted the link to this blog on every local board around here as well as COTH. I then would have posted about the time Paul had his dick out while standing on the side of the road trying to convince me to have sex with him. That would have been to show hurt and spite. You really should have thought that comment through. Are you really stupid or naive or desperate enough to believe what Paul says? Really pathetic.......
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What about all the e-mails and texts that you sent my husband? What about them? There is nothing that I have done that I am ashamed of - I would LOVE to hear how Paul explains (lies about) those. Bring 'em on!!! No doubt he has you convinced that I was pursuing him and he was helpless against me.
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Yes, we have them. Oooooooooh - So what? Somehow this sounds like a veiled threat - what do you guys think? And it sounds rather sick - your husband is trying to screw me and 'we' have my emails and texts?? I'm sorry, but that just sounds so totally fucked up. Readers - please help me out here - what do you think she is trying to say?

.What "uninterested" single woman does that for months?
Months??? You are truly sad. Is that what he told you? You think 'months' is a lot? Did you think I would say it was weeks or days? Sorry - Paul chased after me for a year and a half!!!! (Damn - that is a long time - time just seemed to slip by!!) Again - if you had read the blog you would have seen where I clearly stated that I would have considered dating him only if he had been telling the truth about divorcing you and actually got the papers. (Note to readers - ALWAYS get the papers first - absolutely no exceptions - I don't care if his mother-in-law is on her deathbed - they are just lying in an attempt to use you and are desperately trying to buy time)

He is the one who told me it was a HUGE mistake to marry you on the rebound from his other wife and he was regretting it and that he was miserable with you. I was VERY clear from the first day that Paul told me he loved me and wanted a realtionship with me that I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN A MARRIED MAN. What part of that do you not understand?

Paul is the one who persisted in telling me that he wanted a relationship with me - the only thing I am guilty of is wondering how creative he would get in his lies to me about divorcing you. I told him repeatedly that I was NOT INTERESTED IN A MARRIED man - we had some very interesting arguments where Paul told me he was divorcing you and I told him he was full of shit. He tried his damndest to convince me he was dumping you (papers first ladies.....)

Paul chased me - DEAL WITH HIM - I guarantee he'll do it to you again, and again, and again.

Before Paul decided he (desperately) wanted to get in my pants, I thought he was a nice person and considered him a good friend (BTW - he is universally hated at work - I thought he was just misunderstood - boy, was I wrong). He came across as considerate, witty, and hard working and in early conversation implied he was totally miserable with his life - later on he told me straight out that he was miserable and you were the reason. I'll post that email sometime. It was ALL lies to manipulate me and gain sympathy/trust. He is not the man I thought he was - he is just a POS.
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Why do you post negative comments about me? What do you consider negative?

Why did you threaten me with your lawyer? Guess you found out pretty quickly you had NO CASE. By the way, on that phone call, you told me you would never contact me ever again and to never contact you - not that I ever would - 'I have nothing to say so talk to my lawyer' you said - and yet, here you are posting on my blog. Also, I bet you feel pretty stupid trying to fake me out with making your phone call a 'restricted' call - your number came through every time you texted me. And, just so you know, I have known your cell number for a long time - so it was pointless all around.

Interesting note - why on earth would anyone choose as their screen name (ides of march) something that means 'backstabber'? That is creepy in itself!

A New Twist

OK - so I had never intended to discuss Paul's wife, Kelly, even though she was texting me regarding this blog. I thought she was kind of a pathetic victim of Paul's sick twisted world and really, other than being married to Paul, was not part of the story of how much of a user and a POS Paul is........

Well, Kelly has decided to become part of the story by threatening me with her lawyer. So let me start with the beginning of this arc.

Note the time of the text!! The only other person to annoy me with text messages in the middle of the night was her husband, Paul. He would let me know he was missing me (yeah, right) or to tell me that he was flying out of town the next morning. Yes - it did annoy me and I DID tell Paul that I did not care where he was going and that he should be telling that crap to his wife - not me. Anyhow, I get this text from her.

My first thought was "You have got to be kidding." My second thought was "You have got to be kidding." My third thought was "You have got to be kidding." Is she crazy? Why on earth would I want to discuss anything with her?

So, I text back during normal waking hours:
"For what purpose?"
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I can't imagine what the hell she would want from me - it is pretty obvious from my blog that I can't stand her husband. And I found it hard to believe that she found it 'interesting.'

The only place I would have met her would have been at the police station after they frisked her for weapons. (Paul had told me that she was prone to violence when she was angry - and I would not take a chance in case he was actually telling the truth).

IMO she was up to no good. And, just like her husband, she proved me right with her stupid, childish phone call to threaten me with her lawyer.
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Next: What she claimed she wanted.

The Truth Shall Set You Free!!!

Things are getting really strange - got a threat today...............

"Substantial Truth
"Truth" is an absolute defense against defamation. See New York Times Co. v. Sullivan, 376 U.S. 254 (1964), and Time Inc. v. Hill, 385 U.S. 411 (1967). Consequently, a plaintiff has to provide convincing evidence of a defamatory statement's falsity in order to prove defamation.
The law does not require that a statement must be perfectly accurate in every conceivable way to be considered "true." Courts have said that some false statements must be protected for the wider purpose of allowing the dissemination of truthful speech. The resulting doctrine is known as "substantial truth." Under the substantial truth doctrine, minor factual inaccuracies will be ignored so long as the inaccuracies do not materially alter the substance or impact of what is being communicated. In other words, only the "gist" or "sting" of a statement must be correct.
The substantial truth defense is particularly powerful because a judge will often grant summary judgment in favor of a defendant (thus disposing of the case before it goes to trial) if the defendant can show that the statement the plaintiff is complaining about is substantially true, making the defense a quick and relatively easy way to get out of a long (and potentially expensive) defamation case. "

From:
http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/substantial-truth



"In Virginia, the elements of a defamation claim are publication of an actionable statement with the requisite fault on the part of the defendant. To be “actionable,” the statement must be a false statement of fact that harms the plaintiff's reputation in the community or deters other persons from associating with him or her. "

From:
http://www.citmedialaw.org/legal-guide/virginia-defamation-law

And so he starts his 'New Year' campaign - yet again

OK - so this was his reason he quit 'chasing' after me in November:
It had to be done on my terms, or it would never work. We were making me feel like a complete failure. So I "ended it".
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"We" were making me (Paul) feel like a complete failure???? WE?? What planet is he on? I told the AH to leave me alone while (if) he took 'care of business' (ie - get a divorce) and I am making him feel like a failure? Is he crazy? His terms: give him a POA on the side while he continues to tell me he is getting a divorce - any minute, just wait and see...... (Reality: the holidays were coming and I wanted to be with the people I really cared about.....you are not one of them)

Ended 'it'??- Paul makes it sound like as if we were dating - only in his sick, twisted mind!!!

BTW - Paul IS a failure - as a husband, father, son, friend, employee, boss, co-worker, trainer, human being etc.
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And this was his reason for starting - yet again!!
It (ending it) was much easier at first, I guess because I was angry. But you were always "there" - always on my mind. Little reminders everywhere. Looking at news stories and laughing with you. Thinking of all the things that make you you and made me fall in love with you. Wanting to be with you.
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Angry? I tell him to do the right thing and he is angry at me? What a guy - trying to make ME feel guilty. Wanting to be with me? Yeah right - he goes home to his (clueless) wife everyday and thinks I am stupid enough to believe he has asked her for a divorce. Earth to Paul - when your unemployed wife is publicly making plans for the upcoming horseshow season (that takes lots of $$$) that is a clue that she has no plans to move out. How dumb does Paul think people are? Or, the reality of it is, how dumb does Paul think I am?
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If he really meant it: If a man TRULY loves you, he will move heaven and earth to make it happen - no matter what. When a man tells you it has to be done on 'his terms' and he does nothing but flap his gums and try to make YOU feel guilty - RUN! They don't give a shit about anyone but themselves.
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Up next - the 'divorce' list.
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To the people who do not like this blog - DO NOT READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!!! No one if forcing you to click on it.
To the person who is texting me in the middle of the night - please grow a spine and call me during the day - otherwise, leave me alone. You obviously have my cell number and I have no clue what you are really trying to say/ask. Your messages are contradictory and I don't feel like answering you in 160 characters or less.

The Strange 'Boyfriend' post

This was really strange!!!

Situation: I was at an industry conference and was talking to a current customer and had to call Paul regarding the status of a job for that customer. The evening before at the conference I made several contacts for new, potential customers. One man in particular seemed to be very interested in our services and I spent a great deal of time with him explaining what our company could do for him. So, in my call to Paul about the first customer, I told him about the very promising lead from this other person.

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Timeframe: This happened after Paul declared he loved me and wanted to be with me and before he divorced his wife, Kelly. Oh, wait a minute, he NEVER intended to divorce Kelly...........He just wanted a POA on the side.

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When I asked Paul about the message, he said he felt very jealous of the guy because I seemed to be quite excited about the sales prospect. Duh - message to Paul - of course I was excited about the prospect - that customer has turned out to be one of our better customers - thanks to ME!!!! I also told him that it is impossible for him to be a jealous boyfriend because a: he is a married man; and b: we are NOT dating as I DON'T date married men. At which point he assured me (once again) that he was divorcing Kelly and he loved me too much to lose me and was going to 'take care' of business.

Happy New Year

It is January 1 in the afternoon. I finally look at my cell phone (I had it on 'silent') and see that I have a new message. Who could that be?
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At EXACTLY midnight, I got a message from Paul!!! "Happy New Year" A simple one to be sure, but a message nonetheless. Actually, I think the real message was the fact that he sent it to me at the stroke of midnight and I was supposed to think that he was all alone thinking about me. What a crock of SHIT!.
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Now that the holidays were over, he could start his pursuit again. And boy did he start.


I had heard horror stories about married men chasing after a POA, but this was INSANE.

The Holidays are Coming

So, Thanksgiving and Christmas were just around the corner. I wondered just how the Paul would handle that situation. After all, he had been telling me he loved me, how much he wanted to be with me, and how life was too short to waste with people you don't care about (one of Paul's 'life lessons' he learned from his dead horse Calvin). So, if that were true, who would he want to be with during the holidays? After all, if he hated Kelly and couldn't even stand the sight of her the way he claimed and loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, wouldn't he want to spend the holidays with the ones he loved? That was his "Calvin" philosophy.

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Well, as I knew he was lying about wanting to be with me, I was curious as to how he was going to handle that situation. He did not disappoint.

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It was the middle of November and I got my usual phone call from him (probably his 10th of the day to me) on his way home (he always called me, I only called him on work related stuff) and we were in the middle of a conversation about the pros and cons of a construction project and he just hung up on me. (He claimed later the connection was lost).

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And that was it. Suddenly no more phone calls, no text messages at 2am, no more emails. He fell of the face of the earth. (No loss there!!! LOL)

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Anyway, due to work I had to call him a couple of days later. And I asked him what happened. He hems and haws and finally says that he thinks we MIGHT not get along (WTF???) so he said he was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with me, but didn't feel the need to tell me. He's an even bigger AH than I thought.

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OK - so even if the horse squeeze he was telling me were true, what kind of a man does that?

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I do not hear from him for about 6 weeks - so guess what happens AFTER the holidays? So predictable.

Missed one.....

I realized that I left out a part that happened a couple of weeks after Paul declared he loved me and that he wanted to be with me.......
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(Don't know why this pic insists on being sideways - LOL) .

I know what I want. I know what I need 2 do 2 have it...........


I got this text after I told him to shit or get off the pot - he was the one who declared that his marriage was LONG over and he was getting a divorce. I sure as hell did not pursue him. He could not have it both ways. From the very start he kept telling me that he wanted me (hahahaha) and that he ALWAYS got what he wanted. Who doesn't like a man who gets off his ass, gets busy and gets stuff done?
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So, the VERY NEXT NIGHT I get this message:
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Tonight we talked. She is leaving when she finds a place. My left hand is bare.

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Wow - is that convincing or what? Sounds serious to me. Here is a man who makes shit happen!! Jackpot!!!

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However, a little voice inside my head kept saying "let's see if she REALLY moves out" or is he just making this crap up? I always give someone the benefit of the doubt, but I do realize that most men are just out for NSA sex.

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Knowing what I know now - it would not surprise me if he took his ring off when he thought he might run into me. He is that much of an AH. Typical cheater.
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What he really means: Women take this ring symbol stuff really seriously so if I take my ring off, she'll think I really mean it and maybe I'll get 'some'.

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If he really meant it he would have: Called his lawyer and made an appointment on xyz date.

Work has been a beast these last 2 months............... :-)

Ohio Equine Affaire

Heads up - Paul is at the Ohio Equine Affaire this week - if you are there stop by and say Hi to the jerk. Interesting to note is that he said he was not going there - especially with Kelly (it is near where Kelly's family is from - he says she is from 'the West Virginia part of Ohio') He calls her a West Virginian because he claims that she is sorely lacking in the hygiene department and is a slob.
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He lies so easily - when I saw the preview on the website he denied he was going. It then showed up on HIS website - when I called him on that, he claimed that it was MY fault it was on his website. Paul actually had the nerve to tell me that he posted it on his website because I pointed out to him that it was on the Ohio Equine Affaire website!!!! Uh - Duh - wouldn't HE have to sign up for it for them to put it on their website?? I don't think they randomly put exhibitors on it without their permission/knowledge.

Holding hands by the water

I was walking around outside around the waters edge and watching the couples and, of course, thinking about you and I walking around, holding hands and laughing and talking. I know you are amazing, and I know I love you.

OK, so 3 days after he tells me he is is not doing well, he is back to telling me he is thinking about me (walking by the water and holding hands no less - isn't that romantic??) and loves me. He writes this to me while he is on a trip all the way across the U.S. Hmmmm, he's away from Kelly and thinking about cheating on her. Wonderful!!! What a guy. He is no closer to divorcing her or anything close to it. What a nut.

I need a break. And wow - I get one. This guy really is psycho. I always love to get blamed for something I didn't do. Up next: The library.

The Expected Turnaround

.I need to tell you that I’m not doing real well. I feel sick to my stomach and like my heart is going to explode. Most parts of my life have pretty much fallen to the wayside. It is just not within me to continue like this or
to do the things I want to at this point (be with you) – not while there are still loose ends here and things that need to be discussed and decided on as far as who gets what and how much and all that stuff.

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Ok - he came on to me and now HE is not doing well??? WTF does that mean? Does this mean that he really doesn't hate his wife as much as he claims? Does it mean that it is not over with her? Continue like what? What a bunch of horseshit. He knows that he has no intention of divorcing Kelly and is trying to buy time.

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When he first told me that he was interested in dating me I told him that he needed to take care of things at home first because I don't go out with married men. At first Paul said that he and Kelly had been over for years and it was just a simple task to end things and he did not need any time. Yeah - right.

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It sounded like a new tactic to me. I told him to call me when he had his shit together. In Virginia, that would mean about 6 months. I wondered how long it would be before he contacted me again. I knew that if and when he did that Kelly would still be there and nothing would have changed - he would just have another stupid excuse/story.

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Next: 6 months?? How about 3 days?

Campaign mode

I Love You. You are unlike anyone I have ever known-so right.
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IMY. Badly.
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God I miss u.
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U R more beautiful everytime I c u.
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It would b real hard 2 put n2 words how much I love talking 2 u.
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LY!!!
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Wow - he is laying it on thick now that he has informed me that Kelly is packed and ready to go!!! He's not getting any though - no matter how much he might want it! lol
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I told him point blank (in the 'beginning') that I was not interested in a married man. He is trying his hardest to convince me that Kelly is toast and he wants a relationship. Why don't I believe him - or why should I??? Men like him are a dime a dozen.
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As I posted, Paul claims that Kelly is moving out and makes up this really stupid story that she is packed up and ready to go. So I keep pushing - I wanted to see what would happen. He probably thinks that he will 'get some' if he says the right things. Hence, all the txt messages about how much he loves me and misses (???) me. What an idiot. I realize that he must only date/marry women who are stupid/desperate enough to believe his BS. He is WAY out of his league. I just know that he is going to make it seem like he is a victim and can't help the situation he is in.

FYI - I do keep telling him over and over that I am not interested in a married man - he keeps telling me that he is leaving Kelly. In no way am I leading him on. I continue to push him away - he is quite persistent.
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So I keep asking. After all, HE is the one who is intently pursuing ME (where have I heard that before?? lol) and trying to convince me that he is leaving Kelly and not your typical POS married SOB.
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The sad part? Imagine if you were Kelly and your husband was sending messages like this to another woman. Horrible. Even if she did pursue him intently and he married her on the rebound and it was a huge mistake - or so he claims!

He must be serious

Got a text message:

"Got home and the house has her packed boxes all over"

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OK - so Kelly is packed and ready to go. Even the pictures are off the walls. Later he told me that Kelly is going to move in with her mother. Boy, that sounds like he is serious to me!! I just knew he was not a piece of shit like every other married guy who says he is going to leave his wife. hahahahahahaha. I was just waiting for the punch line. He did not disappoint.

The "Mansion"

I have never been to Paul's house. However, throught the miracle of the internet, you get to see all kinds of stuff. This is the 'mansion'. This is the culmination of Paul's life dreams. (Paul has a VERY well paying job I might add - He bought this in his late 30's / early 40's.)

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This is what is known in real estate lingo as a 'starter home' - usually for people under the age of 25. It is approx. 1,000 sf, built in the 60's, and has few ammenities. It is also located near a rock quarry and tons of trailers. I am not picking on trailers (or starter homes) - but rather the fact that Paul talked like he is living in a place like this http://www.downunderhorsemanship.com/ranch/ but the reality is so different.

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The thing that bothers me the most about this is the trash at the front door, the broken window, clogged gutters and the general lack of maintenance. All those things reflect the values of the owner. How 'bout them 4 dogs? What about that fencing?

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OK, enough of that. What's up with the trailer on the property?? This is where it gets interesting. One of his ex-father-in-laws lives there!!! Paul could not afford the home (around $50K about 11 years ago) and had his to have his (then) father-in-law help buy the property. What is really bizarre about the whole situation is that the ex-wife visits all the time and is trying desperately to get Paul back!! Wow - who wouldn't like THAT situation????

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It gets even more bizarre - this particular ex-wife had an affair while married to Paul (there is an ongoing theme here) and got knocked up by one of the guys Paul works with. She told Paul that he was not man enough to get her pregnant and then turns around and she gets an abortion!!!! WTF??? He told me he NEVER even wanted the two kids he has; what made her think he wanted any more? She divorced him because she didn't think he was much of a man - why the hell does she want him back???? He hasn't changed one bit.

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I do believe Paul when he says that this ex wants him back because she actually tried to get a job working in his department to be near him - SICK!!!

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This situation is so weird - it proves the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction"

Let the excuses begin!!

OK, so Paul had made it clear that it is over with Kelly (and has been for a long time), his family hates her, he has taken off his ring, and he has asked for a divorce. So, what would any normal person expect to happen? I would think that at this point Kelly would be looking for a place to live. I certainly would - I would not want to be with someone who made it clear that they did not want me around.

So, I posed that question to him.

As expected, the pathetic excuses began:

"Yes, Kelly knows I want a divorce; I just have to do this my way. She must not know that I have found someone else, so I need to take my time with this otherwise she will take my house away from me in the divorce and make me pay her alimony. I worked my whole life to get this house and I am not going to let her take it away from me so I need to take it slow"
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Holy shit!! OK - this is Virginia, not California where there is an automatic 50/50 split. You get to keep what you had BEFORE the marriage. Paul had the house years before he ever met Kelly. She never paid a dime towards it - in fact Paul sent her to college (although she conveniently never got a job) so she should be able to support herself and not receive alimony - much less get the house. The college she went to was expensive - I should know - I got my MBA there. Of course, I actually work for a living (and my company paid a portion of it).
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I then asked him if he went to a lawyer to see if this could happen. Naturally he said he was too busy.

Next post: just how fabulous is this house that a 50 year old man has that he worked so hard for? It should be a mansion - or damn close to it. And what other surprises are there with this house?

#5 Clue I Love You

You know, if this guy had been single and sending me these messages, I would have been THRILLED!!!! However, he is not single. Therefore, these messages are SICK! Imagine what Kelly would feel if she knew that her supposed 'loving husband' is writing emails and text messages (and sending letters, post cards, and voice mails) to another woman.

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Someone I have a lot of respect for.

Paul has no respect for anyone - what asshole thinks it is respectful to tell a woman that he loves them while he goes home and supports/fucks his wife that he claims to hate???

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I can't even count the number of text messages that had ILY, IMY or I can't wait to see what the future has for us. Emails by the score about what we were going to do when he got rid of his horrible, selfish, self centered wife.
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What he really means: I think women really like to hear this shit, so I will lay it on really thick. Maybe I'll get some.

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If he really meant it he would have texted/emailed: I have filed for divorce and the papers will be finalized by xyz date.

#4 Clue - EVERYONE hates Kelly Part 3

OK, so after he tells me how all three generations of his family can't stand Kelly, what does he revert to??? The usual.

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"...I didn't have to sleep on the couch anymore as she would find somewhere else to sleep."

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What a bunch of horseshit!!! "The man doth protest too much, methinks". - (Hamlet - Act III, Scene II - modified from 'lady' to 'man'). I would have to be a complete idiot to believe him. When I asked him why he told me this, he said that it was important for him to tell me so I would understand that his marriage to Kelly was completely over and that he really wanted to have a life with me. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah (I assumed they were both sleeping on the couch!! Maybe the kitchen counter was next? LOL)

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What he really means: I'm getting desperate here to convince you - I'm starting to pull stuff out of my ass. I still fuck Kelly on a regular basis but I want some action on the side because I am bored with her.
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If he really meant it he would have said: I have moved out.

#4 Clue - EVERYONE hates Kelly Part 2

Wow - after he informs me that his parents don't like his wife, he then tells me that his daughters also don't like Kelly.

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So why does this jerk feel the need to tell me that all three generations of his family hate his third/fourth choice of wife? Am I supposed to hate her too? I pity her, but then again, she did pursue him 'intently' and should have known what she was getting into. Sounds like he is playing the victim card again too.
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What he really means: OK - I'll take a stab at it: If I convince you that I and everyone else in my family hates Kelly, you will be more likely to believe the next part of the email. (Fat chance on that!!! LOL)

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If he really meant it he would have said: Nothing. Once again, how his daughters feel about Kelly is none of my business. And, quite frankly, if Paul's wives wouldn't come in and out like revolving doors the daughters might have a chance to get to like them. Paul told me that he just left his daughters behind (tossed away like yesterdays trash) for one of his wives when the girls were VERY young - just walked out and left them behind to get his next piece of ass.

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I talked with him after he emailed this and he referred to one of his daughters (the one who is 6'+ tall) as 'the one who looks retarded'. Nice.

#4 Clue - EVERYONE hates Kelly Part 1

I have to say, this line of trying to convince me he was sincere really was unexpected. I did not expect him to tell me about how his family could not stand her either!! That said, it was probably the only thing he ever told me that was the TRUTH! I met his parents (they were looking at a horse over at a friend's house) and my friend told them that I knew their son, Paul. After a brief, very general conversation, there was NO DOUBT that Paul's parents can't stand Kelly. And I DID NOT bring the subject up, they did.

What he really means: I have to say I don't know what he was trying to convince me of here - he threw his parents under the bus for hating his wife.
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If he really meant it he would have said: Nothing. It's none of my business.

I'm a victim - Part 3

"We do nothing together. She never wants sex now that
she has me. And, to tell you the truth, I don't want to have
anything to do with her anymore. Especially sex. I work
late at night because I can't stand the thought of
coming home to her. I get angry just seeing her car at home. " Oh puleeeeeez. What was really insulting was that he actually thought I would buy this crap!

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"I'm still trying to process all this. I mean, I've never really thought about all this in this way, putting pieces together to form a bigger picture. Right now I feel pretty stupid. And used. And very angry. " I bet he never put the pieces together this way - Paul was just trying to figure out what lies to tell me to get me to believe him. As my daddy always used to say - 'Trust but verify'. And I sure could easily verify that Paul could not be trusted. Absolutely fascinating. My curosity was certainly piqued as to what BS he would pull next in his relentless pursuit. He certainly was following the textbook on what to look for in a man who cheats.

I'm a victim - Part 2

"I put her through school" ...Works PT for her best friend.." But doesn't get paid!!! LOL - the jokes on you, sugar daddy!

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"Tells me we bought two lesson horses for her.....which I don't want" But SHE wanted them, so she got them. It's obvious who wears the pants in your family!! What a man.....

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"Kelly has methodically pushed my farm away from what my passion always was and now I don't have room/time for what I want to do." Wahhhhh - poor boy - and you have no control on what happens at YOUR farm do you??? .

"And through her actions (but not words however) makes it pretty
clear to me that my needs or wants are pretty low on her priorities list." And by your chasing after me, it is pretty clear that her wants or needs are pretty low on YOUR list!!! No wonder she does what she wants and couldn't care less if you are upset by her spending your money.

Does this guy sound like a spineless wimp or what???

I'm a victim - Part 1

Wow - he slams Kelly pretty quickly to convince me that he is going to leave her. I simply asked him how long he had been miserable with Kelly - he said from even before they were married!!! And why would he be so stupid to marry her if that were true?

"Kelly used sex to get what she wanted. Me" Talk about an ego.

"She pursued me rather intently" And what a prize Paul turned out to be.

"she cheated on him" Sounds like Paul and Kelly are perfect for each other - Paul has a well known history of cheating on his wives. And he sure tried to cheat on her with me!!!



And who wants a man who will so readily share such sordid details?

Exaggerations

Of all the thousands of text messages that Paul sent me, this is the most bizarre: "Probe length 7-8 in fully ext. Dia: 1.5 est. Insertion depth: variable. Sensitivity:environmentally dep. Excitation: chemical."

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This would be worthy of being posted on WWHM!! First of all, does he really think I would have sex with him based upon his penis size??? Not in a million years..............

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Second of all, if you give dimensions, they damn well better be accurate. No matter if my hand is wrapped around a straw or a double stuffed burrito, the distance between my thumb and pinkie when extended is EXACTLY 7". My thumb to the first knuckle is 1" and my pinkie to the first knuckle is 3/4".(I do a lot of home improvement projects and don't always have a regular ruler handy) I can measure nearly any cylinder and be accurate within 1/8". Note to Paul - get rid of your fisherman's ruler.

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Third - Paul believes that size is the most important characteristic of a penis. Newsflash: if a woman is given the choice between a large cucumber that is mushy and gets you wet as soon as you touch it or one that is not quite as large but is very firm and stays that way as long as SHE wants, the second one will win everytime. Note to Paul - don't use a marshmallow to get in the door - it can't get in and just makes a sticky mess for the door owner to clean up - so I have been told.

I want to catch up with Elizabeth Taylor

Kelly is his third or fourth wife. Poor thing - or maybe not!!! - more on that later....

One of Paul's co-workers told me that Paul thinks he is God's gift to women - what do you think?

Mr. Double Chin

#3 Clue

I told him I had absolutely no interest in having an affair with a married man. He told me "I completely understand - I would never do that to you - I'm divorcing my wife - I really mean it. It's been over between Kelly and me for awhile"

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What he really means: "I want to use you so I am going to have to make up shit to convince you"

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If he really meant it he would have said: "I am really interested in you - I will call you when I am divorced because I respect you"

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Doesn't that horse look pissed? Ears are back and he's forcing his head up to 'pet' him.

Bozo

#2 Clue
"My wife and I don't have sex anymore - she is just not interested in me and I am divorcing her"
Hahahahahahahaha (I couldn't believe he pulled that tired old card out of his pocket)

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What he really means: "I am totally bored - we fuck, but it's not exciting"
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If he really meant it he would have said: "I have moved out"

The first sign

#1 Clue: "I am leaving my wife - we have nothing in common. Just give me time to settle things with her and get a divorce."

What he really means: "I am going to see how much I can use you before you realize I have NO intention of leaving my wife"

If he really meant it he would have said; "I have an appointment with my divorce lawyer next Tuesday at 3PM"

.

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Note the Parelli training - you dress up to play games with the horse, you never actually ride it (note that there is no bridle). Nice helmet - NOT. That's the $400 Parelli saddle pad - LOL "A fool and his money are soon parted" http://www.parelli.com/product.faces?catId=22